Leading Ladies After Loss

ABOVE: Angel Moms Funeral Support

Community leader Calandrian Simpson Kemp presses forward to help other ladies heal and cope with the painful and tragic loss of a child to senseless gun violence

No parent should have to ever bury their children, but sadly, that has become an all-too-familiar occurrence in the United States these days.

At the time of this article, another school shooting took place, as another domestic terrorist murdered three children and three adults at the Covenant School in Nashville, Tennessee on Monday, March 27^th.  This comes a little less than a year (May 2022) since a domestic terrorist fatally shot 19 elementary school students and two teachers at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas, along with seriously injuring 17 other individuals.

The Village of Mothers Home Visit

Mass shootings are not the only acts of gun violence that brings severe pain, loss, and heartache to family members who have lost children to senseless gun violence, but those are the ones most talked about in the media. However a child is murdered, whenever a gun is used, it still hurts the same, and leaves a void in a family’s life that can’t ever be fully filled.

As we close out Women’s History Month, we wish to highlight a woman who is using her own emotional personal story to empower other women who have experienced the same pain she has.

The theme of National Women’s History Month for 2023 is “Celebrating Women Who Tell Our Stories”, which is something Calandrian Simpson Kemp has chosen to do for nearly 10 years since losing her son, George Kemp Jr., to gun violence.

On September 27, 2013, Calandrian found out that her 20-year-old son, George Harold Kemp Jr., had been involved in a fight with a group of teens in Richmond, Texas, which led to a fatal shooting that took his life after he sustained multiple gunshot wounds. George Jr. was a mechanics student who played free safety on both his college and high school football teams and had aspirations to join the NFL, before he was fatally shot.

Devastated after hearing the news, and suicidal at the time, Calandrian struggled to find an outlet to grieve and express her pain. Because she could not find the avenue to help her, Calandrian decided to turn her pain into purpose by helping other grieving mothers who she discovered were dealing with the same challenges. Calandrian created a platform to tell her story and allow other women to tell theirs through the creation of The Village of Mothers initiative.

The Village of Mothers is a group that Calandrian founded in 2014, with a mission to inspire hope by encouraging, building and strengthening mothers through faith by genuine friendships and resources.

When asked why The Village of Mothers is necessary, Calandrian states that when a mother loses a child, it throws them into a sea of despair and a hell hole called “grief” that is long suffering and includes too many unknown variables to navigate alone.

Angel Moms gather for an outing

“We know by experience that family and friends can provide empathy, but they will not be able to truly understand or relate to all of the emotions a mother who lost a child will experience,” said Calandrian.

Calandrian states that the mothers who are a part of The Village of Mothers, who she refers to as “Angel Moms”, are a part of a group that is necessary to help them navigate the judicial system processes and connect to community resources to engage in community engagement.

“It is vital to a mother who has lost a child to connect to a group like The Village of Mothers to be connected with someone who looks like them, which is another mother who lost a child because they can communicate what cannot be said, the hearts connected, and the road to healing can begin,” Calandrian continued.

Since the loss of her son, Calandrian has been dedicated to helping other mothers heal from the unsuspecting loss of their child to gun violence, and has been on the frontlines as an advocate for the passage of meaningful legislation to end gun violence in America.

In 2020, Calandrian was featured in a powerful ad during Super Bowl LIV, produced by then-Democratic presidential candidate Mike Bloomberg‘s campaign, which spotlighted her efforts to encourage lawmakers to take action on gun violence. Last July, Calandrian and her husband, George Kemp Sr., were invited to The White House to join President Joe Biden, members of Congress, civic leaders, and other family members who lost loved ones to senseless gun violence, to witness the historic signing of the Bipartisan Safer Communities Act.

Since the launch of The Village of Mothers, Kemp has helped more than 700 moms nationwide, who have joined the group online. The mothers attend rallies and organize gatherings to encourage and uplift one another. Calandrian has also created meet-up opportunities for the Angel Mothers to engage in justice and accountability meetings with local officials, rally peace walks, serve as panelists for community forums, provide family support for criminal court trials, participate in peace talks, and travel locally and out of state to support the birthday and “Angel”versary celebrations of each Angel Mother’s child who is no longer with us.

Calandrian states that she is empowering other Angel Moms to find their voice through pain, to show up for themselves, to be present by engaging in peer-to-peer support group meetings, to attend outings, and to have one-on-one “real hard conversations” regarding their loss.

“Though sharing and storytelling, Angel Moms discover their next steps and how to find purpose in their pain,” Calandrian explains. “Angel Moms are empowered to ask themselves the question, “What would my son/daughter want me to do?” and then use that answer to find the light in their darkness of grief and turn around and be the light in darkness to become a voice of change.

Calandrian also states that members are strongly encouraged to take their health serious by partnering with an exercise buddy and taking advantage of health and wellness information they receive through the group early on in grief onset.

“Angel Moms are encouraged to keep sharing how they feel and by doing so this helps them to discover and idea of how find purpose in their pain,” says Calandrian. “Many of the Angel Moms have taken next steps into advocacy, changing laws, launching businesses, and starting foundations.”

When asked how the creation of The Village of Mothers has tangibly inspired other mothers to turn their pain into purpose, Calandrian points to several examples, such as:

A new mother, whose son was a college student who lost his life to gun violence, was aired on the local news, which prompted one of the Angel Mom members to reach out to her and meet her for a home visit. The Angel Mom member was able to connect with the mother during her most vulnerable time, even though there were family members around. Now, however, she had another mother who understood what she was facing and experiencing. The Angel Mom member was able to assist the mother with personal tasks that only the mother knew she needed. The two became friends and she eventually joined The Village of Mothers, and was supported through the years by the network of Angel Moms who stood with her during the time it took for the murderer of her son to be convicted and after.

An Angel Mom, whose son was murdered, joined The Village of Mothers and took her pain and used it to start a business in honor of her son. She continues to outreach to new mothers to let them know how she was able to overcome her grief.

An Angel Mom, whose son was a student at a local high school, was murdered by gun violence. She and her husband started a foundation in their son’s memory to provide care packages for college students and school supplies every year.

An Angel Mom in California, whose son was bullied at school and eventually murdered by gun violence, started a foundation to bring awareness about bullying and gun violence, and to provide local community session to engage the youth in programs to curtail gun violence.

An Angel Mom whose daughter was texting and driving on Mother’s Day in 2014. This Angel Mom would go to the location where her daughter was killed every day to decorate the location and sit in a chair. She joined The Village of Mothers support group online, and was able to be supported by other mothers. She began to extend herself and offer video storytelling for other Angel Moms in the group. A year went by and her and Calandrian were able to meet in person at the “Angel”versary event of Angel Mom’s child. As Calandrian spoke at the event, she asked the visiting mother to come stand beside her. Little did she know that she was going to ask her to share her story at the event. Calandrian took one small step backwards and it put her front and center. With s slight hesitation, she shared her story. This particular situation helped her get that initial lump out of her throat. She cried, but she kept sharing her story. As years went by, this Angel Mom got empowered and motivated by the encounter, and found her voice. In 2022, she testified in front of legislators and advocated for Hands Free Ohio legislation, and now they have a law: Hands Free Ohio.

Angel Moms in Houston came together as group to take their pain to the streets of Houston through the No More Bloodshed Peace Walk Initiative, to bring awareness to gun violence and to come out of their homes and not grieve in silence. The sought to show that gun violence was not the solution. Angel Moms were encouraged to bring the biggest picture of their child, who lost their lives to gun violence, and to march for justice and accountability.

Through their collective efforts, Angel Moms have traveled to Austin to rally at the steps of the Texas State Capitol and have participated in countless meetings focused on reforming gun laws. Many mothers have become violence interrupters in their communities and neighborhood schools.

When asked how she is able to help others when she continues to deal with the tragic loss of her son, Calandrian tells the Forward Times that she took up the cross that was placed upon her to help others because when she lost her son, there was no one who came to her, or who looked like her in her circle, who was suffering from the loss of a child like she had.

“Many people came and gave condolences, and were sorry for my loss, but no one told me that they had lost a child or understood what I was going through, or could tell me what I could expect next,” says Calandrian. “Afterwards, I found myself all alone and internally suffering. I fell into depression. So, many months went by and I prayed and begged God to send somebody to tell me about this new journey, because I was feeling so suicidal. One day God made it clear and gave me the vision to create what I needed. I knew there were other mothers in the city who looked like me, so I began organizing and galvanizing mothers who lost children to any cause.  I am proud to say, I held my first Village of Mothers luncheon in 2014. Now, nearly 10 years later, my phone constantly rings, or I get a text message, or I receive many new member requests to join our online Village of Mothers Facebook group. I can now say to new mothers, “Welcome to the Village of Mothers, you lost a child, I understand!” This is my life and how I keep going!”

Calandrian states that the ultimate expectation of The Village of Mothers is to see mothers, fathers, siblings, and all who have been impacted by the unfortunate loss of a child, restored and made whole in a “new normal” by using the hand that was dealt to them to find purpose in their pain.  She also wants the members to stand on their stories and be empowered to be the change they need to see and to put love back out in the universe.

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