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Ask Alma: Should I Be Worried about My Husband’s “Mancations” with his Best Friend?



By Alma Gill (NNPA News Wire Columnist)

Dear Alma,

I’ve been married for six years and I love my husband so much. We met when he was in the Navy. The last year that he was in, I got pregnant, so we agreed it would be best to move close to my family and I was very happy about that. He is a good provider and takes care of me and our daughter. Here’s the thing, my husband takes a trip with his best friend who is still in the Navy every year. It’s just the two of them, not the extended family. My sister said that is strange for two men to go on trips together. She said that I need to find out what’s going on and make sure he’s not on “the down low.” What do you think?

Home Alone Wife

Dear Home Alone Wife,

Sounds to me like your husband appreciates the experience of traveling with an old friend and ain’t nothing wrong with that. Sometimes you just want to get away and enjoy the scenery with your good buddy and take a vacation from family life. Is that a little weird, does that mean you’re on “the down low?” Ummmm, I say, “no.” He was an individual person with friends before you married him. He joined the Navy to travel and that’s what he did. Just because he’s out of the military, doesn’t mean he no longer enjoys that passion or the lifelong friendships he’s made during that time.

Before you were born Sweetie, grandmothers use to say, “an idle mind is the devil’s workplace.” Do you know what that means? It means you’re creating stories in your mind instead of taking care of your business. That, Honey Chile, will get you in trouble. Don’t indict your husband based on your imagination. Stop listening to your sister, her idle mind is in overdrive. She’s not married to your husband, you are.

You know better than anyone else what’s going on in your house. What you should be doing is defending your husband. How about that! Use that week or so that he’s gone to try something new on your own bucket list. Grab a fork and appreciate the time enjoying your own pie of passion! Trust him, trust yourself and tell your sister to mind her business.

Alma Gill’s newsroom experience spans more than 25 years, including various roles at USA Today, Newsday and the Washington Post. Email questions to: alwaysaskalma@gmail.com. Follow her on Facebook at “Ask Alma” and Twitter @almaaskalma.

Freddie Allen is the Editor-In-Chief of the NNPA Newswire and BlackPressUSA.com. Focused on Black people stuff, positively. You should follow Freddie on Twitter and Instagram @freddieallenjr.


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