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Ask Alma: I Hate the Way My Husband Kisses, But I Don’t Want to Hurt His Feelings



By Alma Gill (NNPA News Wire Columnist)

Dear Alma,

My husband and I have been married for two years. He’s a great husband. He takes care of everything and keeps me very happy. Here’s the catch, I just hate how he kisses. It is just too much spit, wild lips and heavy breathing all over the place. I have tried on many occasions to discuss this with him, but it never seems like the right time. Not to mention he is a very, very sensitive man. His feelings are easily hurt and I don’t want to make him feel bad. He takes everything to heart. At our recent anniversary dinner when we were having a very romantic moment, I said, “Slow down, baby. Let’s practice a bit and make our kisses really, really great. Of course all he heard was, “I don’t like your kisses.” Now, three weeks later, he’s still upset. When I try to kiss him, he won’t even kiss me back. I think this is so crazy, but what can I do. Should I apologize and tell him everything is just fine? I love my husband and I just want things to be right again and I want both of us to enjoy when we’re kissing each other. I don’t want to hate his kisses for the rest of my life.

To Kiss or Not to Kiss

Dear Kiss,

And uhhhruhhh, I see nothing wrong with that request, as it will affect the rest of your life. I’m sorry to hear your hot lips hunk-of-a-man has hoisted himself into such a hissy fit. Especially, because his reaction isn’t what you’d expect when you’re looking to make a constructive improvement pertaining to intimacy. His inability to be open enough to hear you, tilts my head towards a bit of concern. He needs to apologize.

You said you’ve been married for two years; you guys are really just getting started. You’ve got a long road ahead to unravel those untruths that didn’t get mentioned or get on your nerves at the start of this lasting romance. That’s a lesson for another time.

Hard conversations don’t have to be rude and there’s no need to attack, but they are an important part of a relationship. Your words were sincere enough, in my opinion. And again I say, no, no way do you deserve a cold shoulder. Let me pause here while I have your attention and reiterate, don’t you apologize. The two of you are required to talk openly and honestly to each other, that’s nonnegotiable. Mr. “takes-care-of-everything” needs to tame his time-outs and grow up!

Every fool knows experience is the best teacher. When he finds his way back and he’s ready to act like an adult – you should drop, rock and roll. Don’t hold a grudge or never again speak your peace. Put one hand on each cheek and pull him in easy. Teach him! Show him what ya’ working with (kiss emoji), LOL, and lets just end this rightchea! That’s all I can say because you know, this is a “PG” publication (wink emoji).

Alma Gill’s newsroom experience spans more than 25 years, including various roles at USA Today, Newsday and the Washington Post. Email questions to: alwaysaskalma@gmail.com. Follow her on Facebook at “Ask Alma” and Twitter @almaaskalma.

PHOTO CAPTION: Alma Gill says that trust is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship.

SEO KEYWORDS: Ask Alma, Alma Gill, advice column, bad kisser, relationships, op-ed, commentary, intimacy

Freddie Allen is the Editor-In-Chief of the NNPA Newswire and BlackPressUSA.com. Focused on Black people stuff, positively. You should follow Freddie on Twitter and Instagram @freddieallenjr.


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